some girl that im facebook friends with has H1N1, im scared to even go to her facebook page
They're having chugging contests. With juice. Please get me out of Utah.
Where the hell did all of these gingers come from? It's like they crawled out of their shame-caves for st Patrick's day.
He hasn't left the hospital without a nurse's number all year. My nurses are always ugly or men. Wtf bro
I will pee on everything he values.
They shoved things up my nose I feel violated
I haven't been that free with the boobs since I was 19. I'm putting them away for a while.
If you insist
The one guy literally flopped my boob out. Yes I insist.
I have to take tonight off from shenanigans. My liver is planning a coup
LESSON OF THE DAY: Saying Everclear gets you out of explaining anything.
I can't believe i lost my ID... bringing my birth certificate to the club was a weird experience
There is no way to say this. Dude, I peed your bed. No questions, no answers. My flight leaves in 30 minutes. Use my detergent. Also, THE VODKA IN THE FRIDGE IS YOURS.
Hey beautiful no judgement but why is there a bucket of KFC chicken in the bathtub??
You know it's time to call it a night when every guy in the bar (all 3 of them) have seen you naked at one time or another.
Hmm should I take my nipple rings out before my sisters wedding/family vacation in Puerto Rico where I will be with my mother 24hrs a day for four days wearing a bathing suit seemingly the entire time? Or should I just risk it and not hug anyone.
Risk it. Keep the titties tough.
ready for a night of bad decisions, horrible moral standards, and an unhealthy amount of illegal substances.
Randomize
