4:25 am: I want you here. Ugh.
Literal conversation "you are ________ ____. you facebook friended me"
he referred to my room as the tit cave...
maybe it wasnt such a good idea to pregame our lease signing...
she tried giving me head in the pool. it was more entertaining than pleasurable
I want to punch and suck your dick at the same time. I don't think we have the healthiest of relationships.
This is going to be a 3 day beach sex fest. Do you understand
Fucked Zombie Jesus at a Halloween party. I need Plan B before I give birth to the Antichrist.
I chugged a beer while I was riding him and he told me it was the sexiest thing he has ever seen. this guy knows class when he sees it.
So apparently I threw a potted plant at a clown last night and told him to get his life together.
Speaking of gay, some dude in a life vest just goes, we should pull our dicks out! To larry. Were leaving now. I saw penis
I love how when they see that I'm upset their initial response is to offer me ecstasy
There is absolutely a 0% chance my hips will make it out of this twerking business fully functional
It felt like I was on painkillers mixed with Molly mixed with the sinking feeling I'll die alone. 10/10 doing again.
The Adderall says yes, but my body says no.
Randomize
