I cant believe you went over there and fucked her last night after everything you said
she invited me over to play the wii, it's not like i intended to
You KNEW her power was out...
beer for lunch on the first day back to school.... too soon?
No mine's bigger. It just looks smaller because I'm drunk
Who would have thought google would have HELPED me fail a test...not pass...thank you pacman, thank you google....
Blood drive hookups: you will probably faint during the sex, but at least you know neither of you has AIDS
Yeah I think we tried to use the shower curtain as a parachute because its tied to my backpack with some string. Dont know if anyone actually attempted it though.
he just made me youtube cheetahs running and he thinks he is in a pool
Making jello shots drunk, i apologize ahead of time if they are too strong Can't taste anything.
Your doorknob is in my back seat, in case you were looking for it.
I saw a guy do a line this morning in line to start the 5k, happy thanksgiving!
Btw I have come to the conclusion that we really need to do it in a bed. Like at least once..
I don't want any of this. I just want big sausages.
Yeah, but having a dick this size has ruined 3 marriages.
But I thought it was so funny last night
You also thought you were a gypsy mermaid last night
He graduated. He’s not my GA anymore. He’s just the 24 year old that’s helping me put a sexless marriage in the rear view mirror by exploring the Kama sutra with me
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