I went to blockbuster, where I always go when I need to soul searching
Despondent, hopeless, I decide on vantage point, because I vaguely resemble matthew fox (let me believe this, please)
It was cheaper to buy then rent, so now I'm stuck w/ a wretched hangover and I own this shit movie
don't bother texting me at 10. my pants WILL be off and I'm not putting them back on to come see you.
I accidentally requested the ides of march off instead of st patricks day. Is this an omen? will alcohol be my brutus?
There is so much to learn about oneself from autofill.
Just quiet vomiting, and in between heaves she mumbled "be the pro"
best. trip. ever. this is going to be too much fun. petland isnt going to know what hit them.
I think I may be stoned foreverrrrrrrrr. The earth has been around for a long time.
After the baby comes, I'll make us White Russians with my breast milk. That will teach her about sharing.
I CAME HOME WITH MY NIPPLES PEIRCED! WE WERE CAMPING. IN THE MOUNTIANS. I DONT EVEN REMEMBER IT AT ALL.
Dude, you like sabotaged my shower time by walking in and eating a snack pack on the toilet. That's messed up on levels that haven't even been created.
I most definitely just found a video on my phone that I accidentally took... You can't see anything and all you can hear is me talking about how good your water was... And then I fed it to you... And used the word "eloquent" to describe it.
I have a gay crossdressing neighbor that's dresses up as a slutty pirate. 6 beers from now I would have hit on him. I hate halloween.
I partied with 2 slutty ninja turtles from Sweden last night, I Love Halloween.
It's 90 percent alcohol, and 10 percent a whisper that says "get drunk"
Started mixing booze directly into the 2 liters and carrying them around. Mixing less often, and now kind of weightlifting,so double effecient.
learning about efficiency and effectiveness in an administration seminar. real world application: walking across the street to the pub on break to shotgun a beer.
Randomize
