you threw your tampon into someones open car window...while they were driving.
Went home with a guy 2 " his house". Woke up this morn on couch to parents cooking breakfast, piss all over my back and he is no where to be found. That fuckr pissed on me and bounced. His parents are gonna think some drunk bitch pissed their couch.
Their wedding is on my 21st birthday. I fail to see a way that this could end poorly.
the kid next to me in training is drinking sangria. its 9am here in case you couldnt calculate. its going to be a good year.
Have introduced beer-pong to my work's Tuesday lunches.
Just orgasmed in traffic. Starting to have feelings for my commute.
She just landed. Popped over for a BJ and left. I'm a fan of layover layovers.
That feels better than graduating college or that time I tried to ride a llama. Did you know they really spit?
There is blood on the door to my room, I have to go to sleep
I was scared I had HIV after last time so I'm not gonna do it again
But he was really hot
Glad you don't have HIV
Again??? Now we can't ever fucking go there again STOP PEEING IN FOYERS
Definitely thought about throwing up in the cat box since it's not as far to the bathroom..
I'm a teacher who's always telling kids about the importance of due diligence, yet I'm eating an avocado out of a coffee filter because I'm too lazy to wash dishes
youll appreciate my drinking habit one day...
He was gone when I woke up. But he left skid marks on my sheets and our unopened bottle of Titos is missing
New Rule: No more sleepovers with guys we met on Reddit
Randomize
