You give one guy a hand job and suddenly everyone wants to get with you
out of nowhere you said let us see your boobs, then proceeded to pull my shirt down.
i gets down
Just invented new drinking game watching Hocus Pocus... everytime they say "virgin" wetake a shot and yell out "to j****"
I wish that vaginas would just grow when you're ready for sex. Like when you dont need your vagina its not there, but when you need it...BAM its there. then no one would see it when you get drunk
yeah...or you could just stop doing cartwheels in skirts
There's a girl sitting in front of me making a PowerPoint on Jack Bauer.
Omg calling you in 10 to update you on who I peed on last night
Just bought a 17 year old 40's while wearing a poncho. This behavior is acceptable until I'm 25.
Doesn't matter how many times we tell him the kid's a freshman, he keeps repeating "cupcake boy shall be mine" and honestly you need to intervene
Oh and Dustin informs me I'm a legend amongst the freshman, if you were wondering about my street cred
He lit a candle for the mood and ended up lighting my hair on fire while we were hooking up...moodkiller
What happens if you die with an erection? Does it stay hard? Disclaimer: I'm high.
He asked me how many starwars references he could make before i no longer find him attractive.
It’s like I’m living in some alternate wet dream universe right now
You are telling me my dick tastes like a taco supreme?
I'm saying this "taco supreme" tastes like your dick.
I just thought that if your brother was ever going to invite me over again, he probably shouldn't catch me fucking you in his bathroom.
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