My phone has seen less use in the last three days than Tom Brady's condoms.
i had 75 notifications coming from ur status. here i was thinking i had friends.
I love how adderall is equivalent to money on a college campus. just got a ride home and paid the driver in adderall...yeeah buddy
I had forgotten what it was like to go to all four classes. It's exhausting.
and yes, the jail cell in Citi Field does have a big Mets symbol in it
My mom seriously just told me my insurance company pays for rehab. In an email. I expect a real, not just us joking, intervention coming on. I'm not accepting a "lunch date" with that bitch.
I think my multiple attempts of taking his life, no matter how unintentional they were, has put a damper on our friendship
Now I'm at the gym and I never want to leave. It's a combo of adderall and endorphins and I don't want it to go away
She thinks I should try and corrupt him and take his virginity. While I do love virgins, I'm a little too lazy to put in the corruption effort right now. That's a summer kinda job.
Welp, dad and I drunkenly sang Christmas carols until the police told us to stop. I vote Xmas eve a success
Yeah. Still not happy that my prof saw a picture of my vag.
Also day 6: dick is healed and ready to go back to work.
So far my survey results are telling me to pawn the ring. Thoughts?
So unmotivated today.
Who am I kidding. So unmotivated this decade.
I woke up on a different floor than I went to sleep on. Can't find my shoes.
Randomize
