So..he puked on my dress and I had to walk back to the dorms in his little sisters Scooby Doo pajamas.
I don't know you.
wooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo
ooooooooooooo i'm drink
There was just way too much discussion about my penis at that party
i havent blinked in 235 seconds. now 247. now 258. 263. 267. 271. i also have been gifted with theability to both type and count and not blink. 293 so magical
You're doing that 'overestimating how much I care' thing again.
I think I died last night. I had 14 beers..well 13 1/2 if you count the one that got spilled on the baby in the elevator.
I plan on being naked for at least 2/3 of the wedding.
they need to invent a card that reads "thanks for all those boners you gave me that you did NOTHING about"
I've seen people win free drinks for a lot less dude, no need to drop trou on a piano.
What did you two do last night and why did Sam send me a picture of your dick?
you bet i'm gonna rock his four-foot-two world.
There was already gay porn open on my laptop with a tiny carrot cake, a bottle of water, and a note saying "I love you, Sober Me."
Drunk me just hits it and quits it.
Is it wrong for me to wish my cat had arms to get me a beer?
Btw you guys passed out eating DP dough and watching Pocahontas... on a monday
it was stoner heaven..
There is no way entering a gas station bathroom memorializing an alien abduction in rural New Hampshire is a good idea.
Randomize
