but it happened after you broke up with me and before we made up.
she was hot for a redneck and i dont look at teeth
Best news ive heard all week. The cougars r coming! The cougars are coming!
i ran around the party telling everyone that my favorite sexual position was also the only position that made me queef...i kept calling it the "double edged sword"
I just washed champagne and tuna off my body. I feel like that was a successful shower.
then mid-sex he looked at me and said "i hope this is as good for you as it is for me" and kept going.
Don't worry about it. Anal sex isn't always sunshine and wildflowers.
there's chocolate cake in my bathtub.. I don't even want to know how the hell chocolate cake wound up in my tub..
What color suit is the proper "i banged the bride" attire?
he's the second guy to suck on my nipple in front of my friends that i haven't made out with.
I was dreaming of a parallel reality and in the dream I just looked up at my present self and was like "you're high, man"
Well in other news, my nipples are healing pretty well but next time I get drunk and decide to pierce something please for the love of god stop me!
I remember eating bacon bits off your chest that night... I'll never look at bacon pizza the same way
After round two, I told him he deserves an award. He bowed and did a princess wave WHILE his dick was still inside me.
Reading becomes significantly more difficult when people are having crazy loud sex in an adjoining room
Randomize
