Well my night just got interesting. I just home from the police station. Hope you had a fun night out!
Tried killing a moth in our bathroom. Water everywhere. Don't worry about it.
I can't belive they dont sell booze Sunday mornings. I mean some of us have to work
And then somehow we were arguing over how to fold our arms
Burnt my ear trying to use the bathroom blow dryer as a telephone.
So, sleeping with all of my Vicodin in my bra because I knew she'd be searching my room for drugs tonight. I'LL SHOW HER.
Between my sister puke and rallying at the bar and my brother sending a drunk passed out naked pic in which his dick was exposed, I don't know which sibling to be more proud of this weekend.
I'm drinking and working out! I'm bench pressing the beer pong table and doing push ups and lifting the chair.
i was sitting in the back of a squad car completely stoned watching airplanes take off
just the thought of you slurpin down noodles really rustles my jimmy
you suck at sexting
I'm now at a gay bar with our relatives
I'm going to need to invest in some knee pads if I keep having nights like tonight
Did i fall last night when u carried me home.
idk
OHHH yea you fell down the stairs face first
His pet bird was perched ON HIS DICK.
you would have been so proud of how classy i just looked at the pharmacy with my $10 off plan b coupon. so resourceful.
Randomize
