Me too!
sorry i'm running a bit late. had to shave my brittney...was looking more like rapunzel. clearly i've been having a drought.
he's super hid and wouldn't leave us alone so i snatched his phone and started texting lovelink (thanks for a well-timed commercial) that will cost him money. muhahaha
my debutante medallion kept hitting his balls when i went down on him
i feel like an archaelogyst. im pulling apart last weeks brownies to find the weed in them
If I had a motorized wheelchair, I'd just chase the squirrels on campus all day.
Only you could manage to look like a complete slut while wearing a turtle neck.
Nope we're in the ER. He lit himself on fire trying to impress another girl with magic tricks.
he gave me a new purse full of weed and five boxes of samoas for my birthday. best boyfriend ever.
I brought some guy back to have cheese whiz with me. Then sent him home
Was he satisfied?
No, and very vocal about it.
if I just puked into my own hand, but then cleaned it up quickly, quietly, and calmly, am I still a trainwreck?
Can't wait to hear which one of you won the 'fuck a bigger geek' contest last night. Queen Amidala vs Lara Croft. See you at breakfast.
TOUCH YOURSELF. DO IT.
I don't think that's how you're supposed to sext
I look like i have multiple stab wounds in my foot and there are footprints from the elevator to my room. What happened?
Three Decembers later, I'm looking at this fuckin Santa lingerie I bought and just realized my stocking never got stuffed....
Randomize
