I dint menn to makr ut w brtendr
Wat???
U lft me at bar, no cassh for cab, may have slept with bartender
White Russians with skim milk. Fuck I'm healthy.
So when we opened his headboard we found a bottle of crisco sitting on top of his porn magazines.
I guess we all know what he was cookin.
i'm as serious about my hair as jesse from full house.
that is uncle jesse to you, show some respect.
Give me a heads up the next time you BBM me a voicenote of you cumming so I'll make sure not to play it while in the car with my parents. Miss you too.
Hey, 'thunder cock' as proud as I am for you getting laid, could you put a muzzle on her? I have to be up at 5, thanks.
I can't wait to hear about your drunken cab ride to planned parenthood at 2pm
also, the amount of semen in my carpet right now is unforgivable...
Today wasn't Sunday Funday, it was more like Sunday god is taking a shit on my life day
well his attempt to make a white russian with instant coffee, gone off milk, and that weird probably illegal vodka we bought the other day isnt going well
After we won I just ran all over campus for a couple hours. Then made out with a guy on a bench
We accept all of your sexual lovers, Jewish, episcopalian, atheist. Dick is dick
Hooked up with a 20 year old. Only reason I did was cos I thought he was 18
You can make out without kissing
Explanation needed
i'm not sure what you are doing right now, but i know that i don't like it. whatever you are doing. just stop. come here so we can fuck
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