and then I told her I was too drunk. She started to cry, and told me this always happens to her and that she thinks shes ugly. I pretended I was asleep and then she farted.
He lets me throw up in him even if i do it mistakeily- erica talking about the toilet
everytime he calls himself the maxipad master i can't help but wonder what costume that would involve.
so when I got there he was dressed as jesus in a recliner drinking whiskey out of the bottle watching spanish porn. Then kept shouting dont judge me or ill judge you. we didn't even go to a halloween party.
Just puked on the beach. Hungover. In front of my parents. I love summer.
She stole my hamster. idk who she was, she just walked in and said she knew Keith so she stayed, drank 6 beers, and then stole Charles.
I'm finding that as the end of the quarter approaches, the list of things I refuse to do sober keeps getting longer.
Counseling BFF to break up with her BF. We will get that 3-way
Who is this?
You offered to lift up your dress at the bar so I could see your lower back tattoo
Um, I think that was a general offer to everyone. So...who IS this?
The slot machines are wishing me happy birthday. Mission success.
She wants to fuck me. On a tennis court. In her tennis outfit. Is ring-shopping an acceptable 3rd date activity?
He's short and fat and honestly I think he's what my self esteem was made for
He's super sweet. I feel like I'm dating Elmo. If Elmo had a 7 incher
the next thing I knew, I was on the floor of a Tim Hortons bathroom in Canada.
I got wine drunk and bought a hedgehog.
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