Mental note: adding peach schnapps to a gin and tonic does not "water it down."
How's your Sunday morning ritual of shitting and throwing up at the same time going?
i actually have a tan line from him holding my boob while we were sunbathing
And when he pulled me off the bathroom floor, he just looked at the cat litter stuck to my chin and said "oh sweetie" and shook his head. I think my dad's officially given up hope.
id say I'm a pretty good fuck buddy, i didn't even booty call him on his girlfriends birthday
Fair enough. Everyone has some guilty pleasures. Yours is yourself
Just do let me go home with anyone especially I a guy with a hair sweater
Next Halloween, remind me to find a different wingman. Walking out in your pirate costume talking like Captain Ahab while i was banging her and telling me I had to harpoon the white whale really pissed her off.
Am I a bad person for getting my ex to DD me and a random hookup home last night?
Opened the apartment door and the smell of sex and weed literally slapped me across the face. Kudos.
He is currently passed out on his toilet. Point day drinking.
Pretty sure if we keep hanging out on Tuesdays there will be no whiskey left for the younger generations or the universe will implode....tomato tahmato
I'm sure he likes you too... but your boyfriend is kind of a cockblock
We walked around last night for hours saying nothing but nom nom nom and barking at each other.
We're sitting on the kitchen floor drinking and talking about mounting real light sabers to the dog's head.
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