North Korea, Best Korea!
don't look now, but that cross eyed girl is staring at you... and me.
i don't think my family understands the severity of a twenty first birthday.
walking through the french quarter. a homeless guy just offered me a pigeon. gotta love new orleans.
She looked like a pterodactyl.....but dude i love dinosaurs
I told my mom I had sex with him and even SHE was proud. Now that's saying something.
Idk. The last coherent text said something about $25 & dimes. And then...it's just letters...
Question. Was fucking Laura an entirely regrettable decision?
like...quickly.
I cancelled the entertainment for your b-day party.... Keep the bouncy castle just in case.
Hey I'm sorry for head butting you last night. Personally I thought it was funny at the time, but I can see how from your perspective it may not have been as enjoyable for you... Hope your lip is okay.
Just had to kick my 26 yr old boyfriend out of my bed before getting the kids up for school. Have I mentioned being 41 doesn't suck as much as all the hype.
Also I've been at work for an hour and I've already been "honey"d "babe"d and "beautiful"d by three separate men. Apparently hungover with yesterdays make up looks good on me.
Either he pets my cat or this deal is null
I want to eat a stick of butter
Did your pain meds kick in?
It tastes nice
Do the security cameras outside your house capture sound? If so your whole family is going to hear me describe my threesome
Randomize
