Woke up this morning to a janitor hitting me in the head with his bucket in the hallway of my building. An alumni was next to me because we locked ourselves out of my room and couldn't figure out where my roommates were.
if there werent so many compromising pictures of me in the hands of so many liberal friends, id consider going into politics
My gaydar just like overheated and exploded watching the male figure skaters on the olympics
5 Four Lokos being cheaper than a case should be illegal.
Taped crackers to the wall. Sat I'n the dryer. Bobby had to pull me out by my hair. No more.
Oh my god please beg your father to turn the car around so you can possibly get laid by a knight at medieval times.
Fuck you, jack daniels. I feel like satan laid an egg in my brain.
It was close. I was the girl scoping out where all the garbage cans were located in the class just in case.
This is why you don't heavily drink before 2 midterms.
Serious question: when you had my right nipple in your mouth, did my nipple ring have both of the balls on it, or was it missing one. Current situation: missing one.
The sex was so bad. I kept sending people snapchats of my face during it.
drunk brunch me or lose me forever
FUCK and YOU. times 10. To infinity and beyond. You bastard. Worst. Cockblock. Ever. I'm going to nail your sister.
Do you think in an oreo forest they would have rivers of milk?
I am watching Wayne Gretzky and Alexander oveckhin play video games for charity. What is life right now.
I’ve got full Covid immunity, blonde hair and great tits! I’m basically unstoppable
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