I am at a 420 party and i just told a girl "hey, less not getting donuts, more getting donuts"(1-855): and did she get any doughnuts?
No. I am devastated
Can you really blame Steve Phillips? He went to Michigan. Plowing fat girls is a 100-level course there.
his dick is like his red hair, amazing but useless
I've never watched DWTS before, but this show's got Pamela Anderson, Erin Andrews and Brooke Burke: 3 of my top 10 all time most masturbated to women.
ATMs should seriously have built in breathalysers, I would save so much money.
no, no, no. omg. i said i wanted a SANDWICH! not a picture of your dick. damn cant you read? SANDWICH! now im blinded. great job.
I just took a shower and I feel like 20 pounds of sex just came off of me.
We decided to play beer pong where the loser had to beer bong a pitcher of beer...people just started losing on purpose. It was a bad idea.
Do you think it's illegal to work at a bar if you're on probation for a DUI? I need a night job where I can meet men.
soon, soon....
I don't believe you anymore. You're like the boy who cried coitus.....
Just remember, Dont make worse choices than american flag pants to your own birthday party
He just texted me saying "you've got a face that suggests you give really good head". Is this a compliment? Do I say thanks?
There is not enough whiskey in the world to get me through what happened on Pretty Little Liars tonight.
First world problems.
I could see the visible disappointment when she saw my penis
Try sleeping with him.
Why is it that all my gay friends have that solution...
Cuz you will have an answer or have sex.
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