started her walk of shame as my mom and dad walked through my common room door...my dad held the door for her and told her to have a nice day
I didn't wanna be that girl that took a shit in the ocean..
It's a line of coke at 10 a.m. kind of Saturday. Don't be a pussy about life.
He suggested abortion before I finished the sentence. That was my plan too, but now I feel like should keep it just to prove how big of a dick he is.
Please get rnbert tn get chebk h'm in i'm no dead when he getr gome
LOVE ME LIKE A KANGARO LOVES A POUCH YOU DUMB CUNT
Sorry about giving you those ripped gym shorts after my dog ate your pants, but after the awkard BJ incident I didn't plan on hearing from you again
Hey do you eat chocolate chip pancakes with bacon in?
DO NOT MAIL ME A PANCAKE
It was all fun and games until he noticed the hickey that he hadn't given me...
So we were in bed when his brother walks in, walks over to me, fist bumps me and says he just wanted to say hi, then leaves...so random lmao
I don't care what you say about him, his cock is the stuff dreams are made of.
I think you might be the first man ever to describe getting a blowjob as "neat"
I come into the house and he's fucking doing karaoke by himself... Lady gaga
you blew the guy with all the harry potter paraphanelia didn't you
Last night was fun. Sorry I slipped out before you woke up
Also, your parents get up REALLY early. Please thank them for the bagel and travel mug of coffee. Happy Thanksgiving!
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