Do you think they could tell I was high on that conf call?
Ok let's jusst not talk today bc then we'll just do dangerous things but I'll say hello
okay, this is the fifth time he asked if it was in yet. maybe i shouldn't have dated a blind guy.
Hey cutie is the game almost over? I'm making dinner for us it'll be ready soon. Xox
You would rather make fucking dinner than watch a hockey game that rivals the epic-ness of miracle, the one of the biggest upsets in sport history? Babe I don't know if I can date a girl with such terrible priorities.
so its official, girls can see a boner through my snuggie.
quick, send me a pic of a fat chick eating ice cream in a bikini. no joke, no questions, just do it.
Btw. Made out with a random kid at a frat. It's all good though. He invited us to his frat party tomorrow so yay! For having plans!
I would rather get explosive diarrhea at the aquarium than go home alone tonight
He said that he doesn't like skittles. This relationship is over an it hasn't even started yet.
No seriously, I don't care if you just sucked God's dick. I have had a better Fat Tuesday than you
Watching Faye Reagan porn all weekend for St Patty's day. Nothing has ever seemed more appropriate.
IM TRYING TO SAY GOODNIGHT STOP FOR LIKE FIVE SECONDS WITH THE DICK SUCKING
I think you just described to us the most perfect drunken fairy tale that has somehow never been written
She pinched my nipples too hard I THINK THEYRE GONE
I TOLD YOU ABOUT GOTH CHICKS BRO. I WARNED YOU
I was trying to be good but he showed up with dinner and wine and I exploded. Like a bomb. A dirty, sexy bomb
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