it took everything i had not to yell out "your name means death in german!"
I found the TV remote. It was in the washing machine along with the chicken wings you kept complaining to Domino's about that they 'never delivered'
stayed up to watch the sunrise..saw an albino taking shots on the quad..it's like there's a whole new world of people out there just waiting to meet us
The only word I understood in that whole setence was semen.
I'm sober enough to realize she looks like a man, but drunk enough to do it anyways
I just dumped out my gym water bottle and filled it with white wine. This is the end.
My vag has a bald spot. That is so middle aged. Is this my midlife crisis?
I'm pretty sure every guy I've been with this weekend has made a solid attempt at getting me pregnant...
I'm expecting you to come by soon and a magical night of sex and floating on clouds to follow.
I just got three pairs of underwear free and a bathing suit for $20 by modeling them and letting the salesman grope me a bit.
It's great being a young gay man in Chicago!
I ended up at home with a random bird sculpture and flowers
After we won I just ran all over campus for a couple hours. Then made out with a guy on a bench
He deserves someone who will touch his penis at 3 a.m.
Can I get high for this class every tuesday? Its like a multi-sensory carnival acid trip.
I always knew ther was a reason why we're best friends
Obvs our love of drugs
I like to think of it more as our love of curiosity
Randomize
