Do you ever go through someone elses pictures and just appreciate the fact that youre not really friends with them?
I looked at you and you stared at me dead in the eyes then sprayed febreze at your crotch and winked.
I should not be in class today. For the professors sake.
He has a shower chair now. So he sits and watches me shower. It's kind of creepy.
WAIT DID YOU MAIL ME A KITTEN
Well my dad thinks I wake up at 3 or 4 am every day. Really it is just all the booty calls, but I'm glad he thinks I am so motivated
The real reason I can't work: it's Tuesday. I get stoned and watch Buck Rodgers on Tuesday.
If you're wondering why you have playpen balls it's because we stopped at chuckie cheese on the way home.
cops woke me up on the sidewalk and asked where my shoes are.. fuck if i know, im sleeping on the sidewalk! actually i didnt say that, i just cried until they gave me a ride home.
ok thanks goodnight
Also before you go to bed i just have to get it out there that i really like macklemore as a person
Dude, you vomitted into a trashcan wearing your bear hands and high heels. Your drug dealer even said that was rough.
Two of my dealers just made friends at this party. Do you think one will be pissed if I buy from the other or should I just go 50/50?
he came over last night and we fucked with the great british baking show on in the background. it was beautiful
I SHOULD BE TERRIFIED OF HIS DRAGON DICK.
Go shave, and then go fuck the man
YOU ARE SO CRUDE, I LOVE YOU
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