Whod you bang
I haven't seen Daniella all day...are you sure she was safe going home with that guy?
oh don't worry! i asked him if he was a rapist. he said no
I just had a dude tell me how he got fired from friendly's for tripping a kid and followed the story with "If i'm gonna do it, I do it big."
The only birthday messages I got from men were from my 8th grade boyfriend and the bouncer at our bar. I think I'm doing something wrong in life.
the guy in the stall next to me, came in, farted, laughed, and proceeded to give himself some sort of hillbilly pep talk that included the phrase "big pussy".
Drunk
Deyhxbr
Fucaerrrrr
I want to take my head off and cuddle with it
Maybe it will forgive me and stop being an asshole
We could have had it all. And by all I mean sex in your Toyota Corolla.
Fuck. I have to get my shit together by lunch. Mission impossible.
That's the kind of activity you can only get away with by wearing a lion codpiece
It's cool dude. The dank is in the form of premade smores with honey grahm crackers, marshmallow cream and 420 brand choc. bars. NV weed laws have nothing on me.
Let me know. Show me one boob if yes. 2 if no
Why I hate online dating: not even one day in and a 57 year old asks me to call him "Daddy."
He stopped me in the middle of a blow job to call his grandma for her birthday.
At least he has family values.
Longest 30 seconds of my life
10/10 so not recommended
Randomize
