honestly, who buys weed with an unemployment check?
you.
oh yeah. preciate
i messed up with two guys last night...one i pranked and left the phone on..the other one i went crazy on trying to be his girlfriend after four jagermeister shots...
apparently they started giving me water shots and i couldnt tell the difference
office poll is still running 100% that Spencer Pratt is more disturbing than David Carradine's death
Some random slut told me I was a good dancer then gave me a handjob. I felt like fucking John Travolta.
at least the cop wrote "happy birthday" on the ticket.
We found her on a strangers doorstep chanting "I know someone will let me in" it took 2 of us to drag her to the car.
Bartender just fed me brownie. Its going to be a good night
Nothing like an alcohol-fueled, 6-hour-long hunt for weed--complete with occasional breaks for sex.
There is a mobile STD testing unit set up at my place of employment. In the lunchroom. I may need to reevaluate my career choices. And my lunch plans.
TGIFridays...stall number 1...drunk...send help
Thanks for being my pregnancy scare Sherpa...
I rewarded myself with Taco Bell tonight for going a full week without punching my roommates in the face or wishing bodily harm on them.
Here's the "to do" list i just found on my phone: buy stripper pole, make sex playlist, buy febreeze
Any who, I expect to be showered with roses apon my arrival
How about beer and nachos?
A fine substitute!
Randomize
