Forgive me I'm always horny when I wake up
i'm pissing behind 7/11. if you guys leave... i'll think it's funny too
So we made editble underwear with fruit roll ups and fruit by the foot
We just made mixed drinks in the bathroom of burger king. This is sad.
I've never had a woman show me her venereal disease results in a bar before.
i think you're the only person in the world who masturbates to food network.
What do you think it is?
It's a boy. I know it. She always manages to have a cock inside her somehow.
I'm ok. I've got the pantsless-with-dignity thing down pat
I think I need a restraining order. I had 15 "selfies" of him on my camera roll......my phone has a lock code on it.
Where are you in relation to the mariatchi band?
Give me a reason to not spend the rest of my evening high watching dogs 101 videos
Sending a pic of labia to send to the TN Legislator. Obviously they don't think I know what to do with it so I'm gonna ask them for advice.
What??! Dude I'm not having you barging in at like 2 am smelling of cigarettes and disappointment to sleep on my couch and then have an awkward morning with my wife while I'm at work.
Touché sir
She actually made an event on facebook for tomorrow when she does a pregnancy test, 8 people are attenting so far
I need weed and if he's hot, maybe he can supply me with sex too.
Randomize
