yeah she is the one who tells people i beat girls.. which ironically make me want to punch her in the face
I hate cats. They're so curious, it's not their damn business.
you did pass out in the elevator last night, so it could be motion sickness
The water bill last month was outrageous. We have got to stop fucking for hours in the shower
We sold so many girl scout cookies when we were little. What went wrong?
Dude I reek of $2.50 pitchers, $1 off/pack marlboro cigs, and fear.
Fear?
FEAR.
I was tied up in bed before noon, the rest of the day can go to hell.
Crap I still need to get you a wedding gift. I'm just gonna give you a bag full of cash, lube, and condoms. And I'll use furry handcuffs instead of ribbon to tie the gift bag handles together.
Is it socially acceptable to stop at the strip club for the lunch buffet on my way to the airport?
Caprisun cuts tequila surprisingly well...
Today's hangover is probably top 3 of all time. Just threw up in an envelope. I'm on the ferry and didn't want to get out to puke over the side because I thought I might fall in the river.
I woke up to half of the whiskey bottle gone, and apparently I showered in my clothes. Pretty good start to SB2015 I'd say?
"He didn't answer my snap so I know he's arrested"
She had a baby Jesus butt plug
Haha holy fuck. i dont remember much after pissing on your ex's flaming nude pics.
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