seriously i just wanna be friends
pass
How do I put "special brownies" into Weight Watchers?
Smoking bowl and applying to community college. I now know how I got here.
Don't worry. I has chaperone.
and my loofah got caught on my nipple ring in the shower today. what an awful experience.
She said she couldn't find my penis because my arm was in the way. That was my penis
Every man deserves at least one moment like that
i just shaved my vag. i figure it gave me about ten more minutes to drink tomorrow.
The taxi driver was going on about how many drunk chicks want to sleep with him when he drives them home. Not sure if he was bragging or hinting
Remember when there was a happier time when people could all hang out together with out the awkwardness of the fact that she stole $1000 and cheated on a brother with another brother !?!??
Some lady just walked up to me in the bar and proclaimed that I looked like a "shady motherfucker." Can't argue with that one.
Somehow I got food poisoning AND alcohol poisoning in the same night. Its like everything I love is trying to kill me. I'm waiting for my tv to make its move.
This snow needs to melt so I can get wasted on someones front lawn
I'm going to give you the best blowjob of your life. And yes you can use my mom's printer.
BOOOOOOOOOOOO *takes away your hoe card*
I'm not wearing pants, but I'm wearing a tiara.
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