yea and when she crawled to her room she yelled at a bookbag to "get the fuck out my way"
he kept asking me "do you love it? tell me you love it" as I was riding him.
and...?
I told him it was alright.
I have diapers under my sink. trying to convince myself to use them.
We left the house and she said "let's go dick hunting" theres no way last night was gonna end up well
I hear youre working today. To keep you entertained, ive compiled a list of condiments that my dick has NOT been slathered in since last Friday: Relish, and raspberry jam. That's right.
The trainer from the tech college told me that I would pass the first aid course so long as I turned up sober. Challenge accepted
Breakfast Clubbing as Juggalos. I can feel our IQs in freefall.
It was his birthday this weekend. I had to carry him 6 blocks, in 3 inch heels. The entire time he was trying to molest me, eat my face, and try to stop every two feet to tie his shoe. He would light a cigarette, forget about it, almost burn everyone, throw it out, then decide he wanted to smoke. He kept repeating that he trusts me with his life.
...Wow...
I could be a kindergarten teacher
Oh yeah I remember when I first saw Kyler's balls. If there's anything high school swim prepared me for, it's the amount of testicles I would see here
I just won 200$ from Bar Karaoke, for singing the "Sailor Moon" theme song, and then the Pokemon theme song, also known as the motherfucking ANTHEM OF POKEMON MASTERS LIKE ME. I HAD TO REPRESENT.
Dude, why did I wake up with ketchup packets in my bed and the stove in my room??
I know he’s a bad decision but he's casual, his penis is amazing and his technique is on point.
I was drunk and on Craigslist.. The drunk-text offers people got must have been either horrifying or glorious
Just once, can I please come back to a room that doesn't smell like beer and cum?
just realized I'll be in a check out line with just Hershey syrup and condoms. I don't know if I am setting a good image for our generation
Randomize
