God help me. Come pick me up. The guy told me this is not a hotel and i had to leave.
remember that night jesus turned water into wine? DRUNKER.
Its only 8 and she is already passed out
Perfect here is wht u do. Gently slip your index middle and ring finger into her butt hole but gently u dont wnt to wake her..let me know when ur ready for step 2
Coffee flavored vodka sounded like such a good idea at the time. Now i never want to drink coffee again.
Eating hibachi. The chef is squirting sake into my mouth with a ketchup bottle. Happened twice, more to come.
what is the aproppriate waiting time between having sex and playing super Mario brothers
6 min
hell no. last time, i couldn't pee straight for a week.
I think it's our patriotic duty to get high and watch the state of the union tonight
she got kicked out of the bar for shoving german chocolate cake in the bartenders face. we were there less than a minute
My pupils are so HUGE you can see into my soul from 2 miles away
Part of me really wants this picture, but the other part of me knows if he is really this drunk, he could be sodomizing a lamp and not know it
There's nothing more rewarding than telling you that I fucked your dad
That's how pantless uber rides happen
Whatever douche. I sucked the dick that made you. I. Win.
I may have been bent over an elementary school lunch table a few weeks ago. Don't judge.
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