these two guys are about to go shot for shot with syrup
now he is talking to a potato
Those 2 guys from the sonic commercial will be virgins for life.
Is there a nice way of saying 'touch my penis or i dont really wanna hangout"?
Omg!!!! Call me in the morning I just saw A stripper queef out a dollar
I dont want to tell you. Lets just say that a lot of things are reminding me of your dick right now
I totally accidentally said "we don't go around hammering girls in the rear" in front of 132 5th graders today.
She told me a motorboat isn't successful unless they come out gasping for air. MISSION ACCOMPLISHED!!!
I watched her follow him out of the bar, chase him around the corner and literally throat punch him. It was awesome.
Just puked off the 5th floor onto a car windshield. This is my life and I'm proud of it.
Can't a woman sleep on the floor in her own apartment in peace without being judged?
When you woke up the first word out of your mouth was "whoa"
I was feeling the aftermath of his penis
Gave her a puke bucket just in case. She filled the bottom of it with tears. Super sad. Although I am super proud she didn't puke. That was a lot of Fireball.
I'm actually glad the whole thing's over now. It's exhausting to fake a pregnancy.
Imagine not having to fake it.
Yeah, I should never have kids, probably.
They are in the bedroom next door. We might have a threesome idk. Jesus take the wheel.
GO. DO.
I am Jesus and I am taking the wheel.
There's something about a foam party that makes freshman want to turn their lives into full blown shit shows. And I'm ok with the fact I am one of those.
Randomize