you need to know that there is a kid here wearing an i mosh for Jesus shirt
Did you ever feel like going into a planned parenthood and performing an abortion in front of them?
Umm..who the fuck is this?
Oh shit
everyone has their kryptonite. mine just happens to be 18 year old blonde girls.
September 16th, captains log. I awoke in a daze, not sure of my location
the australian girl literally just drank an entire pitcher of beer in about twenty seconds. i want to go to there.
I need to start giving them away because owning 20 dildos is never going to get me a boyfriend.
Im blasting "Fat Bottom Girls" as loud as humanely possible in attempts that old ladies doing water aerobics will take the hint and get the fuck out of the pool.
God, you're amazing. I just want to hang out with you in the nude and watch Monty Python movies whilst we quip about how comedians just aren't as funny anymore.
Credit for originality. Points off for a mild to moderate creepy factor.
When asked if they had been introduced, Damo said "No but I know we've pretty much fucked all the same girls in town"
No. I'm sorry but once your "would go gay for" list exceeds five people, you're bi. Get over it.
No biggie, just trying to keep my liver function in the green
you were huddled over the toilet, throwing up, and every few seconds you'd look up and say "this is such a waste of vodka" then put your head back down and start puking again
If a weird guy texts you in the near future asking if you are satan just go with it
I've realized that drinking at your apartment alone on a Tuesday probably isn't a good thing.
He also sent me nipple clamps because romance is NOT dead
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