I am full of burrito and curiosity
can you explain why there is a dead rabbit in my front seat?
idk, I had a turtle in mine.
I just had one of those moments where i was really sad that i'll never get to be asian.
Theres two guys using a blow up doll to hold their beers while they float around the pool
Im on my way, tell them to get ready for a high-five
peeing on that welcome mat was like, the highlight of my week
Yea it's a sex scar. But if anyone asks I tripped up carpeted stairs
she's drunk at 2 in the afternoon again. at least my mother is predictable.
No...this little piggys going to the bar
I feel like a color. Like a wavy color
Spent 20mins wondering why my roommate wouldn't answer after we were pounding on the door.....Def went to the wrong building.
Drunk Jeff aka Dreff thinks he's about 3x cooler than be really is and about 100x better at dancing than he really is
then she lifted her dress, tweaked her own nipples, and then ordered another round for everyone. this place is wild at 9pm.
Thanks for listening. You're the first guy I've ever worked with who I didn't want to fuck.
This is like the fourth time this month I've woken up hungover in someone's backyard
Sex in the backyard? Check.
Randomize
