What should our trivia night team be named?
Define Statutory
I don't even know what he looks like, all i've seen of him is his dick
the rest of him looks just as crooked
i just made an omelette with the cheese and ham from a lunchables. and ketchup packets
julia child would be proud.
Just threw up in airport security. Happy holidays.
My cousin had a baby so we have to look at it. Apparently the event is byob
Going to the hospital for stitches on my balls. Mom walked in on me manscaping with an electric razor. Tell NOBODY.
You should know I just got pulled aside by TSA because they found a bottle of Bud Light in my backpack... Thanks for that...
It's like I opened a door and behind it lay mythical creatures sprinklin fairy dust upon the land leading me to a pot of gold. And that gold is some delicious cock.
Fair warning, if I start singing "Kiss Me, I'm Shitfaced" at any point tomorrow, just go with it
Of course not. I'd be offended if you didn't bring my boobs into casual conversation.
I get a nose bleed and my uncle is automatically giving me the "your doing lines off dashboards again aren't you" look
I stole all of the toasting champagne and did an interpretive dance to "wind beneath my wings". I am literally everything you're not supposed to do at weddings.
But your showmanship is impeccable.
He was telling me about how he's leaving on his Mission next week... While we were having sex in the back of his car.
In the officer's defense, I was indeed pantless at the time he cuffed me, but there's a perfectly good explanation.
Not sure how my purse ended up in the bushes last night... Or why there was a noodle strainer in the toilet.
Randomize
