brad dismisses pussy with prejudice
the people next to us in line are buying a 12 pack and a snuggie
Don't be a smartass. I'm trying to fuck a guy who's sober. It's more difficult than you think.
its great to know that you distinguish your relationships on whether you can cum on someone's face
So he thinks I sent him a picture of my boob last night, but it was really just a close up of my arm.
I keep getting texted pictures of my husband with other men. I can't figure out if he wants a divorce or a threesome?
Someone apparently named 'eleaw' just text me asking if I had fun last night.
what whaaaat?! I BET YOU WIN IN THE TEETH DEPARTMENT.
Haha yeah this costume is worse than I imagined. I look more like a gothic hooker who caters specifically to creepy men with doll fetishes
Don't judge them too harshly for getting kicked out of a strip club. Happens to the best of us.
You are the coolest girlfriend ever.
I'm not sure we can use safewords tho. She smokes so much she had to keep asking what the safewords was. Bondage and bongs don't mix
Riding the train home at 6 am for class still drunk is losing its novelty in my junior year
with the possibility that i could very easily fall in love with him and i've actually talked to my HUSBAND about it
THIS MOTHERFUCKING ROOSTER
IT KEEPS CHASING ME BACK IN THE HOUSE
FUCK THIS BIRD
Not sure how but he broke three of his fingers while giving a blowjob. How does someone that accident prone survive to adulthood?
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