Midget sex pt 2 tonight
were having a shit on karen session at work but then she walked in so we used code names instead and she tried to join in like she knew them
people are starting to question the shark bite story
I just found a bagel and a condom in my coat pocket. I love blackouts
And I know a few people wouldnt want to even be around high people. Which is sad. But jet packs are cool.
Thank GOD those kids were having a lemonade stand, I didn't have anything to wash down my plan b with.
there's a guy pushing a keg up the street in a shopping cart. you have to love graduation
also, made a drinking game out of my birthday photos....drink everytime alcohol is in a photo. going through all 350 of them.
nothing like going to the bathroom, running into the wall, thinking its a person and saying"its ok i just had the 4 beers" even the wall knew i was lying
The cop asked you after the breathalyzer what you think you blew and you very discreetly shouted "I'm pretty sure i blew Kyle on the way here "
We were banging then all I remember is coming down hard and smashing my top teeth off his forehead. I just rolled off and tapped out. Done-zo
He's been watching the World Cup too much because right before he came he screamed "NUT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!" for half a minute. Our landlord is not happy.
blue gatorade loses no color upon regurgitation
I will be the DD but everyone has to call me Mistress
1 why did you tell them where i peed last night and 2 where the fuck are you
Randomize
