Whats contracted in vegas does not stay in vegas....
i can't believe i haven't brushed my teeth. and i just kissed my grandma. I'm going to hell.
I just woke up in the coolest sweatsuit i have ever seen..it has cory's name on the tag...do we know a cory?
He made me pinky-promise that he gave me an orgasm.
She asked me to go inside, make myself a drink and slip into something a little more naked.
I made out with a guy because he was sitting on my coat...
She did my hair, then ate me out. Switching teams was an awesome decision.
Just be happy that you're the pretty friend. Otherwise you would have had to walk home alone, like me.
After Madison dropped a bottle of full vodka an it shattered on the floor, it was quiet for literally 3 min straight and then drew said "the booze gods have spoken"
I almost went home with him but then my hydroxycut fell out of my purse at the bar and I ran away
So I pass out narcotics if its a girl?
I invited him to my hotel room via snapchat. I'm one hell of a classy bitch
What??! Dude I'm not having you barging in at like 2 am smelling of cigarettes and disappointment to sleep on my couch and then have an awkward morning with my wife while I'm at work.
Touché sir
I think it might be the guy sitting next to me. I've concluded he HAS to be smuggling insane amounts of onions in his wardrobe to smell like that
we are currently pregaming for our walk to the liquor store.
step one: admitting you have a problem. complete.
Randomize
