Just got an Edible Arrangement my parents sent me for my birthday. Time to marinate some fruit in vodka.
i dont understand blimps. what would happen if they collided would they just bounce off or fall to the ground.
dude how high are you right now?
do you think jeeves would know? you do it. ask jeeves.
i would one night stand the shit outta him
when we got back we had sex. but it wasnt til the morning that i figured out her leg was broken
She had me dip my balls in cake batter ice cream from cold stone and then tea bag her. Let's get weird just got a whole new meaning.
I'm dressed like a deranged cupcake. Let's get fucked up.
Drunk logic "let's go outside in front of the bar to get sick"
Just tried to dig out holes in my mattress for my boobs so I could be comfortable lying down on my stomach
Pizza rolls are incredible. They are like sex, except I have them sometimes
I'm playing drinking games with a boy who looks like Liam Hemsworth. I think I'm fine.
who sends a dick pic at 3 am on a sunday honestly
seriously. and now it'll take him hours to clean up the glitter
The only good thing about the sex was that he finally cracked the spot on my back that's been hurting.
I'm going to be such a slut in Europe I've already decided
Send me dick pics. We'll make a scrap book
Don't come back. They don't have pants.
Oh god.
God has nothing to do with this.
I'm too drunk to make ramen. What the fuck is this.
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