One of the cleaning ladies on my floor just screamed from the bathroom
So my prents justed posted "DO NOT DISTURB" on facebook and i just heard their door shut and lock...I'm leaving
Go ahead. I tried to back up ur budhism story but she mite be catching on
Dammit. I hoped that would work. Just tell her I'm doing my pilgrmidge to Nepal or something.
I honestly didn't see the problem playing beer pong In the car on the road trip home.
ur roommate just sent me a pic of us fucking. i'm not coming over anymore.
and then she started to quack like a duck and u started throwing bread at her
I was all over the place but at every locale you would pop out of nowhere and hand me a huge drink and say "HAMMERED"
I am the fairy godmother of the drink.
He is 30 (that's 8 years older than I am) and uses more Emojis than I do. Problem?
Roomie questionaires don't ask any of the important questions like "how do you feel about one night stands" and "will you judge me post-walk of shame"
I feel so bad for your roommate
Here's what I don't understand. How does anyone watch you eat mayo for 12 minutes and then ever fuck you again??
Ive done some fucked up shit, but last night was the first I have Poured milk on anothers mans face in the shower.
His name was Kyle but I insisted on calling him baby Jesus all night and then we did a line and he bought me Taco Bell so idk
Quick I need a sexy way to say "suck your balls"
Dude, I'm at a wedding and there's a mashed potato bar and bacon strip appetizers. I'm getting all emotional.
He forgot how to sit. we had to pick him up and set him down.
Randomize
