What a fucking waste of an outfit
Great date with Damon, but I'm not sure if telling him I like lesbian porn is a good second date discussion.
i am not listening to taylor swift on a pink ipod. totally not happening.
i just discovered a movie that charlize theron is a sex addict. i think my prayers have been answered
I am too drunk to make real decisions. I had pop rocks all over my ass earlier. This is not a joke.
Its important to me that you know there is a tambourine down my pants.
This morning my mouth tasted like fruit trees, battery acid, and magnums. Transferring schools was the best decision Ive ever made.
I have a cut on my head from a tambourine.
So apparently we wrote "Lube Shopping" in Paula's diary on every friday for the rest on the year....
If this first date goes well and I like him, I won't sleep with him. But if it doesn't go well, I'll sleep with him.
I'd say tonight was pretty successful. I rode an iron horse naked and sweet talked myself out of an MIC while wearing a bra filled with four loko.
In the wise words of Scar: "be prepared."
Do you think Scar was a Boy Scout?
He could only go twice. I need a guy with more stamina and is less married
I just found a reminder in my phone to ask you about your sex life in 7 years. So how is that going?
Can I use your boat
Also, what’s the deal with international water? Do they have signs out there like a city does or do I need a map?
WTH is going on? It’s the middle of the night
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