Please explain to me why I only attract Mormon guys. Just explain that to me.
I think it's God trying to counter your lustful nature. Imagine if Agnostics liked you. You'd never come out of your bedroom.
hanging on that rope, lady gaga looks exactly like a used tampon
all i know is that if they can hide that much blood in her outfit, they definitely could have hid a penis
They have beer in plastic boots. How am I supposed to resist that?
Jessi just used the excuse "it's not you it's me" to get out of getting a lap dance.
No that's sign language, not a drinking game. I tried to join
He came into the hospital yelling "HEY EVERYBODY! REMEMBER ME?"
We got the idea to smoke under his bed because, and I quote, "it'd be just like going camping"
I still can't believe he turned down that threesome with us in central park. He must be really committed.
I'm not afraid to fist fight your child if I feel he is standing in between me and some tacos.
He stood me up.
I'm no sure if I should be pissed or proud that he finally grew a backbone.
I am rewearing my dress from last night. I only wore it for like two hours before fucking. And I took it off first so no cock contact. This is my new standard of cleanliness.
I haven't gotten dressed in 4 days. God bless you, unemployment.
I think everyone at the office can tell I'm dehydrated
you mean still drunk
I've heard it both ways
I'm alone, 3 beers in, and cutting tshirts into belly tops.
We got high, had sex, and watched retro scooby doo shows. Best friends with benefits yet.
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