Sweater Vest, Chin Strap, Beard, sporting a white Beret- Please don't ever let me be THAT guy.
Great, now everyone thinks I've had giraffe semen in me
ok this is the part where i go up stairs and pass out incoherently untill 6 30 tommaorw morning and not rember any of this. love youuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuu!
From now on, just let me go home. I'm tired of hooking up with your roommates... Including you.
he has a knack for choosing the worst time to masturbate
For the record, chili cheese fritos are not a chaser.
i think the theme of this summer is "shitting in weird locations."
he told me he could still feel the blowjob i gave him last year
wow. THAT good huh
I'm pleased to know that your mom refers to me as "the ass piliager" now
Showed up physical therapy hammered. The therapist just says this isnt part of the program.
He probably thinks you're playing hard to get.
Hard to get?? I'm playing leave me the fuck alone.
I wore a bird inflatable and still got laid. So there's that.
10/10 dentists agree that he is one bangable mother fucker. hint: i am all of these dentists.
I'm covered in glow paint and I can't find my shirt. So, successful night
Nobody cheats on THIS.
Randomize
