Let's get naked and see who's stronger.
Why were you high on a thursday?
today's a wednesday
I asked first.
like i told you yesterday: virgins, blood, my name. do it.
She told me she was a cowboys fan... I told her it was a waste of a perfect set of tits
i just looked at the calendar to see when spring break is and literally stopped eating
Clearly I made an impression.
Or at least your vagina did.
I just realized there's an entire generation of children that will never know Alex Trebek had a mustache... Sad.
Almost just got kicked out of a bar because the locals spilled beer everywhere when we taught them to shotgun.
Because you stood over the Ice luge screaming STONE COLD and poured beer on everyone
Sex obviously provides more sustenance than oatmeal.
I just spent 3 hours in the back of an unmarked police cruiser. Best. Date. Ever.
Just sold our expired ticket for a free night of bowling to a drunk guy downtown for 50 bucks. Ill buy beer on my way home
I think I’ve been affected by his dad mustache. I wanna ride it.
You literally asked him, “Do you come here often? Do you want to visit my vagina?” With no hesitation
Just realized I've spent more nights sleeping on bathroom floors the last two weeks than in my own bed. It's time to reevaluate my life.
Randomize
