I tried karate at age 7 and quit after realizing it conflicted with watching new episodes of "Full House."
If you don't sleep with him after showing him your thong with the bow, I am no longer on your side.
Everytime she tries to call me all I can think about is when she tripped walking down my steps during her walk of shame. Then I laugh until it goes to voicemail
you stole their roomba and ran out the door so that you could 'set it free'.
we found you passed out on lawn and the roomba bouncing back and forth on the sidewalk.
The hookah bar is playing i'm on a boat. I believe in god again.
She cried. My mom screams. And nut went everywhere. It was all around a bad situation.
It's amazing the difference a day and 2000 mg of antibiotic make. Nine days to go.
We still going to Happy Hour
Idk. I can't because it doesn't fit in my schedule of sleeping or throwing up
Sounds like it could have been the night you pulled out your love stump at the strip club.
i officially have over $300 in my bank account. that's a year's worth of chipotle.
he told me it was nice to see me not blacked out mumbling to myself in the front seat, I told him it was nice to see him not in handcuffs.
If I could sit on this toilet forever I would totally do that right now
i think the realest test of our friendship is how hot your sister looks right now
Donald Trump looks like someone photoshopped hair onto a dick pic.
try to milk me bitch
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