fyi, i just bought my first strap-on. the little mermaid theme song was playing in the background.
how do i word it so it doesnt sound like im asking him if he has ever been in jail.
I asked her if she was the outdoorsy type, she replied "I had sex on a fourwheeler once, does that count?"
Not sure. No solid plans. Just tanning nude.
Dnt forget 40 tuesday,dress nice! Like job interview nice, like funeral nice, like a couple muhfuckas sittin on their lawn drinkin forties on a tuesday nice!
We're both on the slippery slope toward middle age...and really shame riddled bar experiences
AND BY FEELINGS I MEAN VODKA
We're already drunk. 4 hours to go still. And there's a bear advisory. TOP WEEKEND.
You should probably stop your little brother from ruining thanksgiving. I just caught him trying to stuff a cake in a drawer... And now he's puking.
Exactly. Stay back and unsubscribe from her
If you were more comfortable around gay men, then you too could get wasted at the gay dance club and go home with hot girls.
It's 1pm, she's in the shower, I don't have the guts tell her I wasn't her blind date. Someone got stood up.
College has done two things for me. Given me the confidence to blow my nose in public and shit in public
Yeah I'm just gonna stay here and spread my horniness to the world.
I dont think the chain smoking, tequila shots or cocaine was good for my bronchitis.
Randomize
