Why are you such a perv today?
This is a lot to handle
Oh shh
I'm kidding you prude take a joke
never. drinking. again.
lets not get ahead of ourselves.
Wait, we're on the hunt for addys and explosives. They're both in this house somewhere.
My bra broke.... so I Macguyvered that shit together with floss
my mom just told me its unladylike to have toothpaste stains on my clothes all the time.. if she only knew.
she just walked in and said "well, I got peed on again"...
Quick question... Can I call you daddy? Or would that just really made the whole 8 year age gap a bigger deal...?
She only remembers me when she's drunk. It's like I'm a suppressed memory that only surfaces with alcohol.
how the fuck is Katelyn 5'1" and 85 lbs and she tackled a bouncer to the ground?
There was blow residue on my chem book and my TA was like, did u stain your notebook with CaCO3?
We poured all the Fireball on the Slip and Slide and long story short I have two black eyes.
I'm talking to this guy I met online about French toast. I am the oddest fucking combination of hungry and horny. Wtf brain.
Plus my parents would be pissed if I spent Thanksgiving in jail... again.
You asked me how red your eyes were... they were shut.
I looked into her soul, didn't I?
You eye-fucked her soul.
Randomize
