He introduced her to the DMA meeting by saying: in the past few years i've never seen someone work so hard for so little success
I just snorted a line of adderall through a rolled up business card for the Michigan Law Admissions Office.... Tell me I'm not motivated
Hurry up I might actually study if I am left alone
I just threw up during my phone interview for the largest PR firm in the world.
Housing is going to charge us for any broken dishes/glassware. Steal as many glasses as you can from the bars tonight. I got the baking dish and 3 plates covered.
That's true. There's really no bad time to take a Vicodin.
It is the Reeses peanut butter cup of pharmaceuticals.
I was having trouble getting it up so she grabbed it and said "no, it's too big to fail"
there's fuck elsewhere to go, I'll be there with 8 lbs of bronzer on my tits
He's only done it missionary. His world is about to be rocked. Do you know what I look like from behind?
Hey douche face I just want you to know, if you ever got hit by a bus, I'd really miss you.
Only if you died obviously.
Good news, my sex bruises are fading. Bad news, my boobs look like I have a skin disease because of it.
I don't have time to shower before my passport photos...your cum is all over my hair...that's with me for 10 years now
My sensibilities as a lady demand we cuddle on the couch, and THEN have loud, raunchy sex. Idk, what do you want to do?
I have no idea what happened last night but I sobered up whilst showering with a mop.
Literally just stood behind a guy in line at Walmart get his card declined when he attempted to purchase condoms. That's rock bottom.
Randomize
