i'm forgoing the post-coitus cuddling sesh to ask u this :when he says he loves me and all i can think to say is either "cool" or "i love boning you," what do i do?
there's a guy here who looks like a hipster got a hold of obama and gave him a makeover.
Apparently last night I sat at the bar with an upside down sharpie lightning bolt on my forehead, yelling "It's Harry Potter's birthday! Let me be on the qudditch team!" And I kept calling the bartender Dobby. There are videos.
I was just told by a cop that my party was the most epic party they ever crashed
They were like stripper heels, except business stripper heels, the kind strippers would wear to court.
Just made nachos out of string cheese and sunchips and laying in my bed watching babay einstion..get on my level
Don't make this awkward for me. Don't let your mom come near the bathroom. I can't meet your mom for the first time while I'm shitting. Dont make this awkward.
let's just say if he has a penis and he hypothetically needs to put it somewhere... i would take care of that for him.
What has two arms, one testicle and no credit card debt? This guy.
Go for gold. Two birds with one vag.
You looked at me, said I was a nice guy. Then you drunkenly climbed on top of me and said you liked me and wanted me.
They think its so cute and admirable that I learned French. BITCH HAVE YOU NEVER HEARD OF GOOGLE TRANSLATE? sexting foreign bitches, there's an app for that
Also barcrawl friday. You ARE wearing a tiara
ill drive you to the airport today if we can have sex first
i left yesterday
ill pick you up from the airport on sunday if we can have sex after
You know, finding my first grey pube at 34 is FAR more distressing than finding that first grey hair at 13.
I DO NOT FUCKING WANT OR NEED THIS INFORMATION!
Randomize
