she's naming her girl london marie
that kid will be born with a tramp stamp
"must pass the hog line" should not only be used in curling. but also when we go out to pick up girls.
Absence makes the cock grow harder.
just watched the video of me leading you with a trail of french fries.
Word is he has some crazy hawaiian STD
I just sneezed and it made my entire body ache. Hungover is an understatement
When she sees your dick for the first time, tell her it glows blue when orcs are close
I'm staying at his house to solve the homeless situation. There's a freezer bag of weed in the fridge. He doesn't know it's there, and he's not missing it so I may have an income soon.
As soon as we had sex he stopped opening doors for me. That wasn't an exchange. Im still a god damn princess
We had sex on the playground and then walked around his neighborhood grading houses based on their Christmas decorations
I think I sold my soul to a dominatrix last night.
He said he wanted to lick the breadcrumbs off my chest
It's like everybody loves Raymond but the total opposite and everyone wants him to die
I fucked that choir dude last night. he had the most strangely musical moans. it was like a Sound Of Music porno.
I dunno. The drunker I get, the easier econ gets. I may be onto something here.
Randomize