She's never had brie before last night, don't know if I can date a girl that doesn't like soft cheeses.
He saw my tits then looked up and yelled thank you jesus as loud as he could
I am trying to think of a way to make alcohol cupcakes
It would be like bopping for an apple with my penis but never winning an actual prize. The only thing I would get from it would be the joy from taking part but then regretting it forever more
I'm sorry I compared your vagina to nascar
the gays at disneyland are vicious
She is larger then a hippo. You could cut her open in the middle of a blizzard and crawl in like Luke skywalker. Throw a couch and a tv in there and you're set
I'm really glad that we can be casual hook up buddies. This is a true friendship. Now, please convince your roommate to do the same. Thanks.
Just when I thought he had turned a new leaf, I see a "Let me get you pregnant" shirt in his closet
Apparently "I licked it so now it's mine" doesn't apply to people
I hope you get stoned and think that you're a seal in shark infested waters
The struggle bus has heated seats and stops at Dunkin on Friday mornings so I'll be okay.
if i hadn't ended our catfight by hugging you one of us might be dead right now
What can i say, my face is nice and my body is just unreal. And my beer pouring/stealing is incredible \n
What? I'll do just about anything if you give me a sticker.
Randomize
