I was rubbing the clit just like wikipedia told me to.
They just gave us root beer floats. I guess I won't quit my job today.
i love that he's uncircumcised. it makes handjobs so much easier. it's the lazy susan of penises.
And when we woke up we made beer pancakes. Great start to a family picture day.
everything was going well until edgar threatened to handcuff the security guard to himself.
Yeah... I was considering changing that part but the boxed wine is non-negotiable.
Maybe it was that imaginary ghost dick you were stuffing in your mouth a minute ago
At the start of the night I was all 'come at me universe' and three hours later I was ordering an extra large pizza in bed in the dress I had gone out in. Well played universe.
I enjoy the level of friendship we have achieved until you ask me to determine what may or may not be gentile warts via iphone pic
I'm not sure. But he has a pet sugar glider. So, points either way
As long as that's not his name for his dick.
She told him that she never wanted to see him again then took his takeout box of bacon cheddar fries and got in the uber saying "for feminism"
I was too lazy to get my chapstick out of my purse so i lubed up my lips with pizza grease. On a scale of 1-10 how embarassed should i be?
She said my mask was creepy, took it off with her teeth, and proceeded to bite my neck. I love vampires.
It was great. We stayed up all night talking about objects he'd put in his theoretical vagina.
You know you've hit a new slutty low when you're simultaneously sexting and having a tea party with a 4 year old
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