He texted me for drugs this time. Not sex. I dunno if I should be pleased it's not sex or disappointed that I come across as a druggie
Just puked up hair, tacos and vodka. Hello Memorial Day weekend.
You are so lucky that drugs are going to kill you before I do.
Honest opinion...too aggressive to bring the funnel out to the bar? Also just so you know im at the bar. with the funnel.
I gave the guy a $20 tip on a $9 cab ride, he thought I was just bad at math but I was really just incredibly thankful to be alive and home.
I was like "don't worry, I'm a math major and you deserve the shit out of that 222% tip"
I just want school to he over so we can build a big tent, do drugs inside it, and watch cartoons until the sun comes up.
That's all I've ever wanted.
it's taken me 3 hours to eat this pudding cup. I think I am melting.
I'm not really sure if I peed the bed last night or if the cat was trying to get back at me for using her litter box last weekend
Yeah when I texted her last night the only response I got was "stoned eating cobbler."
Dude it's sisterhood of the traveling wine glasses here
Hun, it's always cinco de Drinko in our family. It's like Groundhog Day. Only with more booze.
drunk me cartwheeled over a turtle sandbox & slit my foot open on a cinder block. how do you explain that to a doctor?
My hookup from last weekend apparently got arrested today... his roommate just tagged me on facebook asking for bail money.
I thought the first time I got peed on it would be by a baby...
I told him I wanted to get on him and ride him to Montana. It didnt end like i thought it would.
my Mom is now my Eskimo sister... she fucked my ex in my bed and took a selfie
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