Richard, I just read on your Twitter account that you have enjoyed a, "Much needed post birthday smoothie..."...A bit revealing, no?
you dont need to remember merediths name haha. only jane
Sorry I wasn't really responding earlier. I was really fucking high and so into that car chase.
I even made an effort to dress like a conservative young lady who doesnt black out and throw up in her bed regularly today.
she was mad because i didn't remember our fuckaversary. fuck buddies are getting too demanding..
Shes been standing with her arms crossed in front of the mirror for 45 minutes...she told me she's "getting sober"
I like to think of them as justice herpes. She cheats on me and gets more than she bargained for.
The last time you said "no one will know" is when you ran out of sprite at your birthday party and dumped a handle of straight up vodka into the jungle juice.
Took out half a tooth with a handle of jim beam last night. Apparently I can't walk and chug bourbon at the same time
Apparently getting drunk at a philanthropy event and tweeting about it is "frowned up"
I'm standing up, for my all my brothers and sisters, and fighting against whiskey dick.
Do you know how awkward it is to get a dick pic while working at babies r us?
Somehow, you looked so classy chugging that bottle of wine last night.
I just don't know how to say "I want to have sex you with before you graduate" in a classy way
Remember that gum I swallowed 3 days ago? I just threw it up.... whole.
Randomize
