At a place where you lie naked on a big pile of pillows and they feed you lobster. You eat it with your bare hands.
Who pooed in my magic bullet?
Sorry the bathroom was being used.
the blizzard started in kansas. im debating driving to a bar now so i can get snowed in there for the game
11am puke and rally. THIS is what I'm gonna miss about college.
Found out my brother is now my eskimo brother...One of my proudest times as a brother
Stripper told me "sorry i'm not squezing my tits in your face much, I just had a kid and don't want to squirt you in the eye with milk. " in the middle of my lap dance
Who wrote Most Moistest Dad on my chest and what the fuck does it mean?!?
I defriended her. I just can't support someone whose profile picture is of their water birth.
At 2pm we are having a MANDITORY house meeting about last night. ALL must be in attendance!
I'd like to review the planning and execution of the party to determine how we hosted a naked party, to determine how we can have more.
The homeless guy who goes through my garbage cans just gave me a flyer for an AA group.
Just thought of the perfect gift for mom.... how about not telling her about my fourth open intoxicant ticket I got last night?
when we woke up this morning she was missing two teeth. the front two.
My dad found my bra hanging from my rear view mirror. Happy long weekend.
It was probably the night you were half naked and trying to blow everybody, guy or girl.
this is me we're talking about here. You're going to have to be more specific than that.
um care to explain the stolen chinchila under greg's bed..i'd be fine with it if it wasnt chewing up the stash
Randomize