I just broke up with my girlfriend lets go find strippers that need rent money.
did not feel like going to store to get condoms last night so went to her pantry and got a sandwich bag and a rubberband
did it work?
nope
my feelings for you are synonymous with those of a grizzly bear and salmon. i don't want to nom on you; but i need you to survive
My dad just gifted me an alaskan flag he stole from the govenor's mansion. He said it was to hang on the wall at 3316, to start a morning ritual. Then he mimed kegstands and vomiting. Senior year will be epic.
I'm gonna be a few minutes late, some asshole just fell off the ferry so we had to stop.
Never visiting again. You guys drink like immortals
The best part about living in a college town is the annual rush of senior girls who want to get in their lesbian experiment before they graduate.
So the dude who sold me my english book is the same guy who let me punch him in the face in exchange for a cig at a party a few weeks ago. small world huh ?
Glad to know I rate above a cabbage on the parenting scale.
We fucked so hard that when I orgasmed I tore his towel rack off the wall. He was more impressed than mad.
to answer your questions bluetooth, 30ft, like a tampon, ask her, her idea, got tired of trying to find her in crowed clubs
I'm highly inebriated watching star wars, this text was sent via the force
She moaned the name on my fake id during sex, that or she's cheating on me with someone named Victor
I just had sex with the kid I walked next to at my first holy communion
i looked at my texts in the morning and saw that i had a full conversation with myself via text thinking it was someone else. i rejected myself
Randomize