it felt great physically, but AWFUL morally.
I don't know where I am but the food in the fridge is awesome.
so, totally just picked up a pack of red bull, and some magnum condoms and the old woman at the register's tone went from "hi blah how are you" to "oh....how YOU DOIN'?" she knew what was up
We should write a comic book about the many adventures of your vagina. Maybe even give it a cape or something.
My freaking DENTIST just commented on my hickies. Through the novacaine I managed to mumble 'It was my birthday' and she smiled knowingly.
It was huge And he was twirling it around. Im telling you, beautiful wonderpenis
I think I reached optimum potential when I summersaulted straight into a kiddie pool.
No, earlier you attempted Jenga with everyones shoes.
Pushiiing vjews 4 ma daz caik
Lyk hr kuds 4
I'm too afraid that I'm 1. Banned or 2. Gonna be noticed by the lady bouncer I punched.
How much is that going to cost?
A lot of beer.
Watching the dude who probably knocked me up be all cute with his girlfriend on my couch. I am too nice, and I hate today.
Btw there's a hedgehog in my room. Don't get it high
You tried to fight someone about spaghetti o’s?
That hungover.
He's on the porch naked. Help.
He did a backflip because drugs
Randomize
