He is like the real live version of the state fair..
I want to get so wasted that I make middle aged irish men look like mormon girls
her name was charlotte except you kept calling her chatroulette and yelling at her to show you her boobs
I woke up on a raft in a bath tub filled with beer. excellent night.
The only downside so far to having a guy roommate is that when he's doing a walmart run, I just can't bring myself to ask him to pick up a pregnancy test for me. I feel like that's just too much too soon.
So help me Jesus we're never drinking together again. But weekends don't count. Amen.
we drunk the bar out of liquor so the guy was selling us bottles of wine for $2a each. Only good thing to come outta this flood
It was fun, but I mean, any day that starts with shower tequila is bound to be good.
It's the best! If I had one wish it would be for life to be one really long gay porno. Thats what I wish for during every 11:11.
I was hooking up with him and then someone banged on the door and shouted "When you get the chance, will you put the weed on the veranda?"
Of all the things I've masturbated to while high, my favorites are ritz chips and trees
remember when I lost my virginity and said I could see myself becoming a sex addict?? Well I'm pretty sure that time has come
I woke up on some strangers couch covered in salad mix and oatmeal cream pies. The struggle is absolutely real.
You're a disaster
Wanna date?
home. only unpacked the necessities...contact case and beer.
Randomize
