When god put her together, he was drunk & feeling creative... a vagina here, sexually ambiguous breasts there, and a pair of shoulders that would make a linebacker jealous
It was like if Side-show Bob had a vagina for a mouth
he was sending me dirty texts but i was watchin nickeloden and couldnt get into it
im ashamed your my cousin
Hey guys, just to let you know, I have a boyfriend...so that hookup was kind of a one time thing.
was that a mass text??
I yelled "Coming in hot." before penetrating. Im pretty sure she loved it.
I'm hiding behind a bush in mens clothing next to a ducks crossing sign. There are joggers. Please hurry.
Just heard Miley Cyrus' version of "Every Rose Has Its Thorn". Fuck everything. If you don't have an std you have no right to remake this song
How many weeks is it acceptable until I can start bringing freshman back?
you stumbled up the stairs in your heels, pulled 23 one-dollar bills out of your bra and then went and puked in the toilet. didnt say a single thing to me the whole time
Is this girl REALLY making a smoothie in the bathroom right now?
I can dry shave vagina like a champ
I'm about to fuck a girl in an old school Tony Kukoc Bulls jersey. About to earn my third championship ring in sex
I had a sex dream. With two guys. And my subconscious decided to put your dick on BOTH OF THEM. If there is a society where that does not mean "I cherish you" I do not want to live there.
He said he "doesnt care at all, really" if I shave my legs or not. Challenge accepted.
I just hooked up with the German exchange student who doesn't speak English. And you said I have no talent.
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