He belongs with you like a mcdonalds playground belongs in Chernobyl
god help us all. i just saw an infant wearing a onesie that said "i don't know who my daddy is"
I just signed a document stating that I would dd all summer if they would go pickup food.
Level of drunkenness: just now when I sat down on the toilet, I had to double check to make sure I wasn't sitting on somebody's lap.
want to meet me after class and possibly get arrested for indecent exposure?
NEW INFORMATION meech found me passed out on a bench outside.
Oh no, we smoked the revival weed. It came in a Batman bag. It hit like justice. And orphans.
I brought a guy home then decided no. Took him back to the bar and said "I'm going to drop you where I found you. Have fun"
I sang Seal's Kiss From a Rose to my quesadilla
Congrats! Its a fuck boy!
I'm fucking my way through California and it's kind of fun.
What's with guys asking if I wanna "kick it" like I'm some fucking 19 year old
BRIAN AND ANTHONY SPOON FED MY BROTHER MACARONI AND CHEESE WHILE HE WAS FUCKING ZARA. THEY WENT TO HIGHFIVE HIM AND ZARA WAS LIKE "WOO!" AND HIGHFIVED THEM FIRST
I feel like I got hit by a car. But a small car, like a Beetle or a Mini or something.
We were talking about kinky shit, and I suggested a hand job in church.
How'd that go over?
Praise the lord and pass the lotion.
Randomize
