Godddamnit i jsu woke up in oharee. My connecxtion left an hro ago. Thosse flight atttendants can DRinK
My girlfriend was pissed, so if I had to guess, i'd say I had a GREAT time last night
My suggestion that we all just smoke some weed was greeted with a uncomfrotable silence and a 'maybe later'. These are not our people
I tried to explain to the cop how we all have skeletons in our closets but he just wouldn't listen.
Apparently it's ok to apply for building permits drunk. I feel like there definitely is a law preventing that.
am i so blindsided by his great personality that i'm hooking up with an ugly guy?
i thought you knew
I ate cinnamon toast crunch. I'm officially out of the puke zone. Blackout drunk Friday. WHAT IS GOOD.
You force fed me chocolate chips and avocados for 3 hours and kept asking me about my trip to sweden when I was 4.
Zip lining have a big frozedn drink with 151 rum chippendale pic life is GREAT
Full contact beer pong was definitely not my best idea.
I'm watching my cat lick a used condom wrapper on my nightstand and I'm too hungover to move and do anything about it. Tequila Tuesdays can not be a thing.
Her family was right next to mine during christmas eve mass. Between the terrifying glares and her trying to set my sleeve on fire during the candle part I am VERY sure she knows im fucking her ex...
You shouted, "LOOK I'M HAWKEYE," and beaned mike with a dildo from across the room.
Last night when we banged she had nothing else on but socks that said 'property of Jesus' on them.
i need to get drunk because i'm an angry sober
Randomize
