How do I tell if what I'm covered in is pee or cum?
Horny girl and non horny girl have different views on life
I bought a fake diamond ring to wear, not only to bars to keep the creeps away, but so that I'll be judged less by the front desk girl at Planned Parenthood
I think its only fitting my first purchase with my student loan is a glass pipe? I think ill name it 'Subsidized'
Nothing says I've got my life together like buying a jumbo bottle of 7$ wine in sweat pants on a monday night
fyi, she knows we call her the sperm bank. watch your back.
I just walked past a woman in the bar stroking a mans crotch, yelling 'I made this. I made this happen.'
and he's drinking a bud lime in his profile pic meaning i can out drink him, meaning i would clearly be the alpha in our relationship
We team puked and then made sex like wild monkeys. If that isn't love, I don't know what is.
I need a straight guy to pretend to be my boyfriend for 30 minutes so that I can pull off an act of petty vengeance. Interested?
You know your horny when you have a sex dream about Ace Ventura, if your wondering he's awful
There's hope in those eyes, for a better tomorrow or more cocaine, we may never know, but there's hope.
So I crawled off the trampoline to puke in the neighbors yard. Wonderful house guest right here
Your parents are gone and we haven't fucked in their bed... why?
I just found your "it's drinking time" note in my chem notes. Why did this never happen??
I was waiting for you to find it...I'll be over in 5
Randomize
