i have nine cents in my fucking bank account... not even a dime
Another night, another sound of my neighbor almost having an orgasm.
And she used to have such long ones. Sad.
her bf's celebrating 10 yrs of service at kfc...it's safe to say all the good men are taken
the elusive kegmastree, who's mystery is only exceeded by it's power
Just thought i'd let you guys know that my dad was roofied at a lesbian bar last night...
That UFC fighter fucked me so hard I have what can only be described as a "cuntcussion"
At least you get to smell pizza at your job. I just smell despair all day long.
Also, in the middle of me riding him, he said "I want you to dance on my dick" like I was supposed to know what that means
It is super hard to find a good vegan dominatrix! THAT'S why I'm single
My dick looks like crazy bread
pics are now mandatory
He asked me if I remembered touching his police badge. awk.
I'm trying to puke quietly so i don't ruin my grandma's birthday/my graduation brunch. And you say i need to grow up.
I got his number because he was "impressed with how much I could handle"...I was chasing shots with Olive Garden breadsticks...
Does sweetest day count when you're spending it with your fuck buddy, high and eating Pizza Hut?
(919) the date's not going well. He's on his phone talking about his eBay amine shit...
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