I'm just that much of a man that I can watch Ellen and Oprah back to back and still like girls.
I served up a girl her first a2m the other day. You would have been proud.
I just saw someone marching around outside wearing only a loincloth, dragging a fuckton of sheet metal. Spring has Sprung.
I don't think so, think I've only met him once, the night I lost my teeth
All I could understand from his text was "hatchet" "soccer" & "bitch". its safe to say andy has had enough to drink & will be violent soon
So his "youporn" cam totally caught me stealing quesadilla leftovers.
The fact that when I blacked in you were sober enough to kick me out of your roommates bed makes me question our friendship.
By the way when you were super fucked up last night, you ate cat food and tried to tell me it was healthy for you
I think the threesome was inevitable when she walked out in nothing but his boxers followed by him completely naked.
That man deserves a slow clap... He defied the power of the vagina
I am harder than a fucking diamond and Michael Bolton is playing. Your move.
I am the oldest one here and I STILL feel like I need an adult. help.
I'm over here trying to figure out how to get shake shack delivered to my bed and Jamie is having a child
Dude, some chick came over here earlier and thought my lube was hand sanitizer. She poured it all over her hands.
I want to meet people. Preferably ones with penises
Randomize
